Written by Brodie Goodall (They/Them)
Allyship is a crucial part of queer liberation. The need for allies grows by the day as members of the LGBTQ+ community are denied life saving healthcare, are used as political tools, struggle to find safe spaces, do not see accurate and inclusive representations of themselves in the media, healthcare, education and more. Being at university is an amazing experience but can be daunting and stressful so having peer support can make a massive difference to mental health.
As a queer student I find it so helpful when other students support me, something that makes a big impact is when others correct someone for misgendering me (use the wrong pronouns), as I don’t always feel confident enough to do it myself. When someone asks about my romantic life and they don’t use gendered language to not assume my sexuality or my partners pronouns is great too!
So what is an ally?
Being an ally encompasses actively fighting or advocating for rights, educating yourself and standing up for communities you are not part of. It’s important to remember that being an ally doesn’t simply mean not being bigoted, it’s active, year round – not just for pride month, or for cisgendered heterosexuals. LGBTQ+ people can work towards being better allies too – I’ll touch upon my allyship later.
How can you be an ally?
Be appropriate
Asking a trans person about their transition and body can be a painful conversation for many individuals, so it is not acceptable to ask about these things unless you have prior consent. Asking someone about their sex life because they don’t share the same sexuality as you is invasive and inappropriate. If you have a non-invasive question (check in with yourself about what may be uncomfortable), ask if they are happy to discuss first. Some people revel in the opportunity to educate others, but remember that is not always the case, it is not their job, and that it may be a sensitive and personal topic.
The darker side of the rainbow
LGBTQIA+ rights still have a long way to go. As much as we celebrate with sparkles and glitter in honour of our pride, it is important to acknowledge the struggle many still face on a daily basis. Pride began as a protest and still is in many ways, it is crucial to remember those who fought for the right to live authentic lives and to appreciate those who continue to do so. If you do not know the name Marsha P. Johnson, please take a moment to research and delve further into the deep and important past of LGBTQ+ rights.
Gender-neutral language
Much of the English language has developed around gendered terms. Using gender neutral language when possible will help avoid the unintentional misgendering of your peers, including those identifying outside of the gender binary and reduce assumptions around peoples sexualities. This will also help to move us away from language that centers around binary [/or] male dominated terminology, which will contribute to gender equality and decolonising language and queerness – colonialism has introduced patriarchal practices to many indigenous communities who’s cultures often do not fit within the gender binary systems colonisation has placed upon them.
Consider using:
- Humankind over Mankind,
- Police-officer over Policewoman/man,
- Workforce over manpower,
- Chairperson over chairman/woman,
- Gender neutral pronouns if you don’t know preferences.
Pronouns
Respecting peoples pronouns is important. If you are unsure, using gender neutral pronouns like they, them and theirs is encouraged, but it’s also okay to ask people what their pronouns are. You should never assume that your instinct on somebody’s gender is correct. Some may not feel comfortable sharing and that’s okay. If you get someone’s pronouns wrong simply apologise, correct yourself and move on.
Offering your pronouns is a good way of showing people that you are a safe person to share theirs with, and helps normalise the conversation which can make navigating communication and social situations easier for trans people.
Consider putting your pronouns in your email signature or when introducing yourself to new people:
‘Hey I’m Brodie, they/them’. Pronoun badges are cheap and accessible too!
Assumptions
Making assumptions about anyone or the people they are close too may have negative affects on a person. In this context, it is important not to assume someones gender, sexuality, assigned sex at birth or pronouns.
- Anatomy does not equal gender.
- Clothes, makeup and colour have no gender.
- Sexuality and gender are separate things.
- Not everyone is straight and not all who aren’t straight are gay.
We can all work to be better allies. As a white member of the LGBTQ+ community it is my duty to be mindful of the fact that my voice and presence holds privilege. To be a better ally, I try and focus my self education on intersectionality, marginalisation, and the origins of LGBTQ+ issues. I have recently learnt of decolonial-queer theory, which highlights the heteronormative and rigid sex-gender systems that have been imposed through colonisation and the implications of this. You can read more about this here: (https://blossom.lgbt/decolonisation-marginalised-voices-in-queer-history-month/)
Thanks for reading,
Brodie Goodall (they/them)
