By Marcus, BA(Hons) Creative and Professional Writing
In this blog, Marcus opens up about navigating anxiety and imposter syndrome as a first‑generation student. He shares what helped him find confidence and offers reassuring advice for anyone feeling unsure about starting university. Read more.
“During sixth form, I didn’t think university was for me. Neither of my parents did higher education, and the prospect of choosing (let alone paying) for another three years of study felt laughably unrealistic to me, despite decent grades.”
My A-Levels were disrupted by lockdown, so my plan of ‘do a gap year and decide what to do later’ became getting a hospitality job and working for four years. While I believe it helped me mature and I wouldn’t have it any other way, after a while I felt unfulfilled and wanted to explore my options.
Even though my parents were brilliant and encouraging, navigating the first steps towards university without someone to look to for advice was extremely daunting. The task of writing a UCAS statement after leaving education for several years seemed legitimately impossible, despite how badly I wanted to attend. I ended up reaching out to old school friends and asking for the most basic advice (such as do I need to bring a notebook and a laptop to class?) which is something I would really recommend.
Facing imposter syndrome
When I got to uni, I thought my anxieties would fade away and I’d get swept up in the exciting frenzy of university life. I didn’t expect the fear of ‘have I made the wrong choice?’ to linger over me. Terrifyingly, the doubts continued. Being slightly older than some of my peers, I lacked the wide-eyed joy at seeing the world on my own for the first time. All I could think about was how much more dedicated and ambitious the people around me must be. I worried I had made a mistake and that I didn’t belong here. I didn’t allow myself to enjoy learning new things because I felt I wasn’t good enough.
“Now in my third year, I am so pleased to say by sticking with it and giving myself the chance my parents never got, I finally feel I belong. I am learning I love studying, a realisation 18-year-old me would be equally horrified and proud to find out.”
Being able to sit in a café with a coffee and my laptop scrutinising articles is now a hobby; something I never thought I’d admit to. Had I not allowed myself this opportunity, I would never have found this out.
Taking the leap
The biggest piece of advice I can offer – and the one I wish someone had told me was this: feeling unsure is completely natural. Taking the leap is half of the battle. If you’ve already done that, you’ve done the hard work. There are so many people at UWE Bristol that are there to talk if you don’t feel you can ask specific questions of your family. That could be lecturers, course leaders or even fellow students in similar situations. I can say with complete certainty that if you feel the way I did, it does get better. All I wish is that I’d spoken to someone about it sooner, because the people around you are there to help. I’m so glad I decided to go to university.
Find out more about undergraduate study at UWE Bristol and how you can support first generation students.
