Content Warning: This text discusses homophobia and mental health.
My journey of coming out has been a path of self-discovery, self-acceptance, and, ultimately, self-love. In some ways, this process of “coming out” continues even today. Just last Christmas, a checkout attendant assumed my “wife” might be upset about my shopping spree and was surprised when I explained he would be delighted with the extra wine! While these assumptions can be uncomfortable, they pale in comparison to the more severe prejudice I’ve encountered in the past.
I grew up in the 1980s and 90s, when the shadow of Section 28 loomed large, campaigns stigmatised the gay community during the HIV/Aids crisis, and casual homophobic verbal and physical abuse were distressingly common. I vividly remember my first Pride in London when parents quickly moved their children away from us and when I became the target of hateful slurs and was spat at.
Even in the confines of my family and a circle of friends who loved me, homophobic attitudes and language created a climate in which I felt it impossible to be openly or fully me. For many years I lived a kind of double life trying to hide my sexual orientation. It was torture. It became hugely stressful as I navigated a complex web of telling different people at different times. The self-editing and sense of deceit was exhausting and took a huge toll on my physical and mental health.
Over twenty years on it saddens me to still hear about the homophobia that exists both here and around the world, but at the same time I am very proud to know that our country has come so far in embracing equality and valuing our human diversity. When I watch the news, I worry that we mustn’t allow this to backslide. This is hard-won progress and a continuing struggle. I never underestimate the important role of allies and activists who work for change – not just in our interpersonal behaviours and societal culture but also in dismantling the systemic and institutional forms of discrimination that can hold us back and which diminish us all. Those champions of equity and inclusion are needed throughout society more than ever.
In my professional life, I’ve seen the positive impact of inclusive policies and a welcoming environment. Our university is dedicated to creating a space where people of all sexual orientations and gender identities feel valued and supported. We recognise that diversity enriches our community, sparks creativity, and enhances everyone’s educational experience. I know not everyone experiences this and until they do, we must work hard to make improvements. The responsibility for change, however, should not rest disproportionately on the shoulders of those most affected by discrimination.
World Coming Out Day reminds us of the power of visibility and representation. By sharing our stories, we break down barriers, challenge stereotypes, and dispel misconceptions. When we come out, we not only honour our true selves but can also offer hope to others.
In academia, diversity and inclusivity are fundamental to our mission. It is through the exchange of ideas and perspectives that we push the boundaries of knowledge and foster understanding among all members of our community. Stonewall has conducted research that found two in five LGBT+ students (42%) have hidden their identity at university whilst more than a third of LGBT+ staff (35%) have hidden that they are LGBT+ at work for fear of discrimination.
In my role, I am committed to ensuring that every student, academic and staff member feels safe, valued, and respected, regardless of their sexual orientation or gender identity. More than a quarter of LGBT+ students (28%) say they were excluded by other students for being LGBT+. We clearly have some way to go yet but it is only through us acting to bring about change at all levels that progress can be made.
To those who are considering coming out or choosing to keep their identity private for now, please know that you are not alone. There are supportive communities here who are ready to embrace you for who you are. Embrace your truth and remember that you are deserving of love and acceptance just as you are.
On this World Coming Out Day, let us celebrate the progress we’ve made in promoting acceptance and inclusion, but also recognise the work that lies ahead. Together, we can create a world where everyone can live their lives authentically and without fear. A world where every day is a celebration of our diverse identities, marked by acceptance, love, and celebration.
Dan Wood
Chief People Officer